Did 2021 seem to fly by for you as well? I’m still feeling like we’re finishing up 2020, yet 2022 starts tomorrow. What!? So what did you learn this year? What would you like to do more of…less of….start doing…stop doing? If you could fast forward to this time next year armed with the wisdom you will have gained over this next year, what would future you tell now you? What would she tell you to stop worrying about? How would she comfort and reassure you? Listen to her. She’s wise. Have a wonderful New Years and be gentle with you as you embark on this next year of adventures. You are loved.
It’s okay. I’m okay.
Accepting my situation in life is sometimes hard for me as I’m sure it is for everyone at points. I have voices of judgment that are so loud telling me that it should be different.
I should be different.
I should be further along.
I shouldn’t still be struggling with this.
Oh, how loud that judge voice is sometimes.
And then, I’m reminded to slow my mind down and remember that everything is OK. Even the hard.
This life is a journey, not a destination.
The divine in tells me that I am OK, and whatever I’m going through, no matter how hard, is also eventually going to be OK.
And then it gives me the space to let the process of my journey unfold.
What do I do?
I help mamas. I help them be more resilient and confident with birth.
I call myself the After Before Birth Coach. I love helping a mom AFTER a tough birth and BEFORE her next.
Sometimes a mom doesn’t realize there is processing to be done for a previous birth until she’s pregnant and preparing for the next. Sometimes she knows there’s processing to be done right after a birth, because it left her feeling broken, alone, unfulfilled. Either way, I can help.
I work with mamas to help them process all of the hard. I teach them tools that apply not only to birth, but life as well.
I love what I do. I love birth. I love empowering mothers in their births.
If you know someone that could benefit from working one-on-one with me, please have them reach out. I’m here. I can help.
My first birth 20 years ago
This past weekend, we celebrated our oldest daughter’s 20th birthday. She’s serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day-Saints teaching the deaf community about Jesus Christ, so we weren’t able to physically be with her, but I loved the opportunity to reflect on her birth and becoming a mother.
Being a mother is a post for another day, but I’m forever grateful for that journey as well. Birth? Oh, how I’ve changed and grown on my journey with birth over the last 20 years.
In the beginning, I knew nothing and put all my trust in the medical professionals.
Then I didn’t trust the medical professionals.
Then I learned that knowledge is power.
Then I learned that even with all the knowledge, you have no guarantee of the outcome.
Then I discovered the transformational power of the process no matter the outcome.
I’m quite sure I’m still not done learning about birth.
These processes of learning touch every aspect of our lives….marriage, parenting, being a human on this Earth.
I’d love to hear something you thought differently about than you do now, 20 years later.
Happy birthday, little one! Thanks for making me a mommy and taking this journey with me.
Expectations vs. Intentions
There is a big difference between these two words.
Expectations are outside of us and outside of our control.
Intentions are about you and are in your control.
Expectations are how I think my kids should act. Intentions are how I am going to show up no matter how my kids act.
Expectations are what I think my birth should look like. Intentions are how I’m going to move forward no matter how my birth plays out.
There is a powerful difference between these two words.
Set an intention for yourself today. Try it out & see how an intention feels much more powerful than an expectation.
I’d love to hear your experience.
Transform means to make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of.
The process of birth does that. Every time. In every way.
I remember thinking it takes a good 6 months to a year to “get back to normal.” Not the case. You aren’t ‘getting back’ to anything.
This is a new you. A different you. A caterpillar to butterfly type of you.
Don’t see the butterfly part yet? I can.
If you’re ready to spread your wings and fly, I can help. DM me today & share your story. I’d love to hear it!
A Transforming Birth
I got to witness firsthand the power of this coaching I’m so blessed to get to do. I am a doula, but don’t take births very often. But when I do, I’m honored to witness the power & sacredness of the birth experience. Last week, I was able to support a mother & father with the birth of their beautiful daughter.
I coached the mama after her last birth that didn’t go as she’d hoped a couple years ago. Then I coached her again as she approached this birth. It was so fun to work with her work through her fears and concerns. She was ready for this birth.
Did her birth go just as she’d hoped? No, it didn’t. But as she and her husband navigated the twists and turns of the birth labyrinth, they stayed the course, and were able to make the decisions necessary to get their baby into their arms safely. As we sat and talked waiting for the cesarean section, we reflected on the day. This mama told me how she never knew she had that kind of strength. She had birthed powerfully. She had no regrets. She was empowered by her birth experience.
As I watched them wheel that beautiful and exhausted mama out to surgery, she smiled and raised her arm with fist tight as if she were going to finish the battle. And she did. An hour later, she was wheeled back in with a tiny, perfect bundle tucked up in her arms.
She and her husband spoke of how different and healing this birth was. Birth transforms us. It transformed them.
What transformation are you seeking? You are capable. I can help.
Life Lessons from a Labyrinth
What does the word “Labyrinth” mean to you? And I’m not talking about the freaky 80s movie with David Bowie!
A labyrinth is very different from a maze. A maze is meant to disorient and confuse as you move from the entrance to the exit. In a labyrinth, the entrance and exit are the same opening. The twists and turns guide you to the middle. There are no wrong turns, no dead ends, only one path that leads to the center point.
The experience of giving birth is like stepping into a labyrinth. You can read all the books, know all the terminology, but when you step across the threshold of labor, you step onto the path.
You will make it to the center (giving birth) as you stay on the path and keep moving forward. That’s all you have to do. The path will lead you there. You don’t need to think about the entirety of the labyrinth, but trust that the path will get you to the center.
Be intentional about staying present and just keep moving forward one step at a time. As you do, you will arrive at the center and birth your beautiful baby.
If you’re asking, but then I’m in the middle and how do I get back out? We’ll tackle that more in-depth another time. Your journey back out is what I call the 4th Trimester. The same rules apply to getting back out. Keep moving one step at a time knowing you’ll reach the opening out of the labyrinth.
We all experience labyrinths throughout our lives. Birth is just one. What’s a labyrinth you’re navigating currently?
Seeing Birth in a Whole New Way
I’ve birthed 6 babies.
I’ve supported many parents in birth as a doula.
I’ve studied birth.
I’ve coached on birth.
I have loved all things birth for many years.
But recently, I’ve come to see birth in a whole new way. And it’s changing everything.
Birth is transforming.
In every way – physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Join me in this journey as I share this new view of birth as it continues to unfold. It’s going to be fun!
Please comment and share something you’ve learned through birth.
Something You Should Probably Know About Me
I am a woman of faith. I love my Heavenly Father and find great comfort in knowing He knows me individually and loves me. Please know that I’m not going to start preaching at you here! And also know that I respect your beliefs in whatever and in whomever they may be. I just felt the desire to share, so you know me a little better.
My faith and trust in God has gotten me through some pretty tough things. For me, it’s the underlying peace even in the middle of the storm. Right now, there are a lot of ‘storms’ going on in our world. I’ve felt lots of feels during this time. Yet my trust in Him gives me hope that it’s all going to work out no matter what.
What’s your ‘thought lifeline’ that gives you that underlying peace amidst the storm?